If the funniest joke in this movie is...

I like all sorts of movies. I love funny ones, intellectual thrillers, sports movies...I run the gamut of them all. And I pay attention too, as a lot of you know. My head is filled with useless crappy quotes from movies that I drop into regular conversations. Yeah, I am a real fucking charmer.

This does not, however, make me a full fledged critic.

Even though I will say that the Sex and the City flick looks about as good and intriguing as my pooch taking a shit and spinning around to try and see it come out. Let me guess. Samantha whores her way around, Charlotte will be gullible and whiny, Miranda is neurotic and fugly and the one that looks like a foot will get the shivers and walk away from Big from at the altar.

There you go. I just saved all you "fans" that think that Sex and the City is your "Bible" about $15.00. You can thank me by sending me some Cubs tickets and a twelve banger of Old Style.



No, what I am writing about today is a movie, but not that one.

I saw the trailer for What Happens In Vegas... for the 104th time this week and I gots to admit...

It looks like a turd. A "big, fat, wrap-around the bowl, sunken Edmund Fitzgerald look-alike, leaving skiddies turd".

Really. The entire trailer is of them running around acting like fools because they happened to get hammered drunk and unknowingly got married and then follows the shenanigans after they figure it out, blah blah blah...it's crap. Besides, I am pretty sure that Friends played out this story line a decade ago. You know. Ross and Rachel get drunk in Vegas, end up eating Macadamia Nuts in the room and get hitched, with them looking like this:



"Hello, Missus Ross!"
"Hello, Mister Rachel!"

Ha Ha. Funny Funny...I am officially gay for even referencing this.

Anyway. This story line is about as fresh as a New Kids On The Block reunion tour...

And, if the funniest joke in the whole hour and a half movie is...

"Hi. My name is Richard Banger."
"Your name is Dick Banger? Well, you just supplied us with all the jokes for the night."...

...then this movie will stink. I mean, you can dress up a pig in a nice gown and put purfume on it, but at the end of the day, it is still...

...a pig.

Oink, oink.

Anyone seen this movie yet? Tell me I am wrong, if you please. Or concur.